Flashback to a sweaty weight room and a high school cross country coach talking to his tired runners the day before their biggest race. “Nerves,” he explains, “are a good thing. Most people go through life worrying about nerves. They get a bad reputation. In actuality, nerves just reveal what we care most about.” He repeats this a few times, riffing around the central idea he wants to impart to his nervous team: nerves are nothing more than an indicator of passion. You take those nerves, embrace them, and then you execute under the pressure.
Replace that weight room with an airplane layover in Rwonda, a noisy classroom in Jinja, a confused conversation in Kampala, and you start to understand my mentality throughout this trip. Every hour seems to bring a new challenge. I’ve quickly learned to let nothing surprise me. I can’t count how many fears and hurdles I’ve overcome in matter of days. I am incessantly stretched out of my comfort zone.
I have to admit that the final stretch of the plane ride here allowed the doubts I’d been blocking for months to creep in. Those uncontrollable nerves are tamed only by my coach’s words echoing in my head. A quick mental check: my mandolin is in the overhead compartment intact, my passport is in my pocket, my passions took me to Africa and I’m not looking back… I repeat these facts and breathe.
Being thrown into a classroom on day one with little gauge for how much English my students know – surprise, some know none – and trying to teach… Deep breath, pray, and smile. Try to think of another way to communicate, to make a difference in their education. Constant challenge as I pivot through teaching strategies on the spot. Forty adrenaline-filled minutes later, my class is over. The students mob me with questions and song suggestions for next time. Somewhere from the back a student asks me to break dance while the child next to me requests me to teach songs in the local language (of which I know none). A quick personal reminder that I can do it (a lie of sheer utility), and that I’m blessed to have the coolest summer job ever (despite its challenges), and I’m off to my next class – an eager group of P3’s with little focus and less English knowledge.
Pursuing conversations with educators and administrators, tearing down any fear of embarrassment and cultural barriers… Failed attempts at social interaction are followed by a cringe, mental regrouping, and another attempt. Resilience is the only way to continue. Luckily, I am in a country filled with friendliness and welcoming. I try to reciprocate while taking advantage of every opportunity to strike up conversation and learn.
I’m in an entirely new situation, and it is filled with challenges. I revel in that. And I cannot emphasize enough how, despite the challenges, I am incredibly blessed to be here. This adventure is asking me to grow in all kinds of ways, and I am surrounded by people who help me answer those challenges.
How exciting it is that my days are filled with moments that make me nervous. Multiple times everyday I am thrown into a situation that invites a host of nerves; I can only respond by trying to be as resourceful, bold, and compassionate as possible. At these times I hear my coach’s voice:
Nerves reveal about which we care the most.
Forget those nerves, fight through the uncomfortableness, and put on my game face. Because I’m here and boy do I have something that I care about. It’s time to execute.